Last Night i had a huge breakdown. I am so overwhelmed with this situation right now. I am SO done being pregnant, i want to hold my Baby so bad and i am scared that the new doc will let me go longer then i expect. But then on the other hand i am NOT ready to have baby yet, because i am not ready to give up having baby inside of me, kicking, rolling & pushing. does that makes sense??
Then i am depressed over being away from my kids, I've ever really been separated from them, and while i know that they are well taken care of, i still worry. ALSO i dont know if i want my In-laws and kids to drive up to the hospital with us, or have them wait here and come over once baby is born and we are settled into a Room. I dont know how surgery is going to go, and if i have to go to the ICU i wont be able to see my kids.
I am also worried that my OB/GYN will not agree to my Birth plan or that i have to go to the main OR or have to have general anesthesia. So many things are still unclear which drives me INSANE. I know its only a few more days until i meet the new doc but WHAT IF he is not going to discuss any of the issues because he wants to do some more testing beforehand. 


But i do know one thing for sure. I want Bells and Hailey to meet their new sibling first.... alone..... I want to give them a few minutes to JUST meet baby, hold baby and get to know baby. I want that bonding time to be as special as possible for Me, Tom and our kids.
Well thats my rant for today, now i am off to spend some time with my Kiddos. 

GAAAAAH

time is DRAGGING, i am going out of my mind. I will meet my new doc in 5 days, i am SO scared he will say that he wont do the surgery until 39 weeks. I KNOW its best for baby to stay put as long as possible, BUT i am totally freaking out about going into labor before my C-section date.
If i should go into labor, the chances are really high that i start to bleed, due to the Previa. That would put baby and me in danger.
The Nurse at Scott & white said they usually deliver baby's where mom has previa early, i just dont know if the doc wants to run more tests before surgery, there isnt much time left until Baby is considered Full term.
I am having contractions on and off but nothing too painful or frequent enough to go to L&D. I am trying to keep it easy and rest as much as possible for today {hubby is on CQ again}

I wish everyone a wonderful 4th of July.

Birth plan

Today i met my Doula Anika. We had a nice long chat, not just about the Pregnancy, but about A LOT of other things. We even discovered that our husbands served in Iraq together { small small world huh}. Well she encouraged me to type up a Birth plan. I always thought birth plans are only for natural deliveries but boy was i wrong. She gave me a GREAT sample letter and i typed up a few myself. I thought i would give you a sneak peek.


Birth Plan for the Bxx family

GENERAL INFORMATION:

Mother's first and last name:  Jennifer Bxx
Father's first and last name:  Thomas Bxx
Sibilings Names : Annabell Melina & Hailey Marie
Due Date:  August 13th 2012
Other support people:  Doula Anika Hayes
Name of obstetrician:

 DURING DELIVERY / RECOVERY &  REGARDING BABY  – In the event a general anesthesia needs to be performed, I understand that some of my requests cannot be honored.

1. I would like my privacy and dignity to be respected at all times
2. I would like to carry out the shaving myself at home
3. I would like to meet the staff member in the OR who wil be participating in the Cesarean.
4. Explain all medications that will be used to me. I prefer bolus and oral medications versus PCA afterwards.
5. I would like to take photos & videos of the birth of my baby. I respect that the surgeon and the anesthesiologist may not want the entire surgery on video, however i would like a record of my Baby being born to make it as personal as possible.
6.  I would prefer the use of spinal/epidural
7. i would like for the Catheter to be put in after the spinal
8. I would like my arms not to be strapped down so i may touch my baby freely
9. If I should need to have a general anesthetic we would like my partner to stay so he is present at our baby’s birth and can hold him or her,
10. I prefer not to have any students present at the birth
11. We would like to have a commentary of what is happening up to and including the birth / for the whole time spent in theater
12. Please do not remove my ovaries or anything else that isnt medically necessary.
13.  I prefer to have dissolvable stitches
14. please lower the curtain and hold my baby up so i can see him/her at the moment of birth.
15. We / My partner would like to cut the cord
16. i would like my baby placed skin to skin on my chest immediately after basic assessments while in the OR. My husband can hold baby there with a warm blanket over my Baby.
17. I would like for my husband and baby to stay in the OR with me while surgery is completed and remain in recovery with me.
18.I request my baby not to be bathed or fully dressed until i have the opportunity to touch, cuddle etc with my Baby and i am able to participate in the Bathing.
19. We would like to hold our baby immediately.
20.  If the baby needs medical assistance requiring leaving the OR i'd like for my doula to attend me in the OR while my husband goes with the baby so i am not alone
21. We would like to be consulted if our baby needs to go to special care
22. If the baby needs to go to special care we would like to be taken to him/her as soon as possible after the operation
23. Delaying immunizations, even eye ointment and vitamin K
24. NO tests shall be performed or medications administered, etc without my or my husbands consent & prior knowledge
25. I would like to be offered regular pain relief which does not conflict with my desire to breastfeed. This includes not being given a drug that will make me too drowsy
26. Please limit persons who touch or attend my baby to only those on staff as needed and my husband.
27. I intend to breastfeed on demand
28. I would like our baby with me at all times unless I request otherwise
29. If someone arrives to visit, please check with my husband or I as to whether we are up for company before allowing them in our room.
30. I will breastfeed exclusively, NO Pacifiers, NO Glucose water, NO Formula should be given to my Baby



I know that some of these points might be a No Go { such as hubby being there if i have a general anesthesia but its worth a try right ????